Your public image is influenced by your presence, the way you look and sound to those around you. Are you noticed when you enter a room? Do you want to be noticed? Are you comfortable with the way people react to you?
Presence is an aura that lets people know you're to be reckoned with. It's not flamboyance or artificial attention-getting showmanship, but an air of confidence and readiness. Watch successful individuals when they arrive at meetings and get-togethers: They smile, shake hands enthusiastically, and refer to people by name. They make meaningful eye contact and pay attention to what is said to them. They are polite, purposeful and composed.
The way you dress, groom, and carry yourself are obvious and controllable factors that contribute to your appearance. Add to this a calm, relaxed manner, smooth and confident movements, and good posture. (Even a tidy desk contributes to a well organized image.) Think of this as packaging the most important product you present.
The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people.
- German proverb
- German proverb
Eye contact is an effective way of letting people know who you are, a powerful influence, and a form of unspoken intimacy. Confident individuals make eye contact and are quick to smile. Handshakes are also very important. If you lack a firm and friendly grip, work on it immediately; a limp hand offers a poor impression. Be aware as well that the length of your handshakes imparts a message: very brief shows limited interest; firm and held for three or four seconds suggests warmth and enthusiasm; longer may be suggestive and inappropriate.
Voice follows physical appearance as an image-builder. A clear, confident, and pleasant voice will enhance your image just as surely as a nervous, inaudible, or unpleasant tone can damage it. Avoid poor grammar and inappropriate language - if your language command is subpar, take steps to improve it.
Acceptance
No one gets along with everyone.
Seeking to be liked by everyone is not a realistic goal. The most essential elements in earning respect and acceptance are consistency and honesty. Perhaps you cannot treat all your friends, acquaintances, and colleagues exactly alike, but you can project a solid image of yourself.
Self-respect is a foundation of your image. How far should you extend yourself to please your boss, colleagues, and other key people where you work? Observe the common protocols of courtesy and consideration, but not to the extent of kissing up to anyone. Few intelligent or intuitive individuals are impressed by flattery, groveling, or over submissiveness.
Building Relationships
Make a game of life and you will be played.
"Professional behavior," that is to say, the way you carry yourself as work, has been compared to playing games like poker in some career references. "Put on a poker face," "Play your cards close to the vest," "Know when to hold them and when to fold them," and "Hide your feelings" are some of the pearls that seem to pass for wisdom. How sad to limit the environment of a career to such machine-like autonomatia.
Depending upon the length of your career, you will coexist with colleagues for a considerable portion of your existence. That's a lot of time to waste on posturing and playing games.
Of course, you shouldn't rush to the opposite extreme by posting your heart upon your forehead or sharing your emotions with all who may pretend to listen. Instead, use common sense and balance in your relationships with the people you deal with on a daily basis. After all, some of them may prove influential to the course of your career.
No matter how clever you may be at game-playing, there are men and women who will see right through the facade and these may be the ones you'd like to have on your side. Consider building functional relationships with a few selected colleagues, in between hands of stud and Texas hold 'em. Strategic alliances can help your working life in so many ways, and you may even forge a few lasting friendships along the way.
